Mrs McLoughlin and the Avocado
We have been plagued by call centres ever since we got a landline in our flat. They never ask for us. They always ask for Mr or Mrs McLoughlin, more often for Mrs McLoughlin.
As we only got NTL installed (and therefore our phone number) about a month after we moved in and also that the previous occupants of the flat used BT, we know that the phonecalls aren't for anyone who used to live in this flat.
My dad's theory is that NTL have given us a recycled phone number so our number used to belong to the McLoughlins. Dad says that phone companies are supposed to wait for a set amount of time (he thinks it's 6 years) before using a phone number again. Considering the amount of call centres we've had hassling us, I doubt very much that NTL have waited that long before re-allocating our phone number.
We have been very patient with the call centres. Every time they ask for Mrs McLoughlin, we have told them that there is no-one of that name here and they've got the wrong number. They clearly don't believe us because the same call centres keep calling back asking for this Sheila McLoughlin woman. We know a few of the call centres are repeatedly calling us because we've done 1471. Sometimes the number is withheld but there are two numbers that we have had repeated calls from despite having told them on several occasions that they've got the wrong number.
We've stopped answering the phone in the flat now because everytime we do, it's a bloody call centre and we're getting really fed up with it now.
However, last night at around half sevenish, the phone rang and Jackie decided she would answer it.
Jackie answered the phone and said "Hello". I could tell by her face that there had been no response which is a definite sign that there is a call centre on the other end. They always seem to be a bit slow to speak for some reason.
"If it's for Mrs McLoughlin, tell them she's dead," I said. "Tell them she got hit by an avocado."
After a moment, It was obvious by Jackie's expression that the person on the other end was asking for Mrs McLoughlin.
Jackie replied in a very serious dead-pan voice to the call centre monkey:
"I'm sorry, she choked to death on an avocado. Goodbye."
______
As we only got NTL installed (and therefore our phone number) about a month after we moved in and also that the previous occupants of the flat used BT, we know that the phonecalls aren't for anyone who used to live in this flat.
My dad's theory is that NTL have given us a recycled phone number so our number used to belong to the McLoughlins. Dad says that phone companies are supposed to wait for a set amount of time (he thinks it's 6 years) before using a phone number again. Considering the amount of call centres we've had hassling us, I doubt very much that NTL have waited that long before re-allocating our phone number.
We have been very patient with the call centres. Every time they ask for Mrs McLoughlin, we have told them that there is no-one of that name here and they've got the wrong number. They clearly don't believe us because the same call centres keep calling back asking for this Sheila McLoughlin woman. We know a few of the call centres are repeatedly calling us because we've done 1471. Sometimes the number is withheld but there are two numbers that we have had repeated calls from despite having told them on several occasions that they've got the wrong number.
We've stopped answering the phone in the flat now because everytime we do, it's a bloody call centre and we're getting really fed up with it now.
However, last night at around half sevenish, the phone rang and Jackie decided she would answer it.
Jackie answered the phone and said "Hello". I could tell by her face that there had been no response which is a definite sign that there is a call centre on the other end. They always seem to be a bit slow to speak for some reason.
"If it's for Mrs McLoughlin, tell them she's dead," I said. "Tell them she got hit by an avocado."
After a moment, It was obvious by Jackie's expression that the person on the other end was asking for Mrs McLoughlin.
Jackie replied in a very serious dead-pan voice to the call centre monkey:
"I'm sorry, she choked to death on an avocado. Goodbye."
______
posted by Catpee at 4:05 pm
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